Behold: The 2nd greatest humanitarian in the history of earth

I am so fucking generous! i donate 3 dollars every week to United Way!!! because of me, i am helping to build a stronger America by mobilizing our communities to improve people’s lives. that is three dollars! i cant even stop it collects automatically from my paycheck. so my three dollars goes to schools, government policy makers, businesses, organized labor, financial institutions, voluntary and neighborhood associations, community development corporations, and the faith community.

and the cancer patients... i have nothing against them but they are not getting my money! i can buy three lottery tickets. i am still thinking about why did i sign that piece of paper and now united way is taking 3 dollars from my paycheck? but its ok. My 3 dollars is for you America! my donation to United Way will help a lot of retarded kids and homeless people. i cant believe how righteous i am to give 3 dollars to United Way.

NFL supports United Way so do we! i think we should play football with them and use those cancer patients as our ball. i think our friend dan keagins will appriciate it because he is a football player and he loves punting babies!

does my donation will help the people with breast cancer because i only want to help ladies with nice tits!

i am so badass, my generosity will give useless people some hope and they are going to think that they are going to survive. its only 3 dollars dude, youre going to die soon and that is sad. :-(

this rant is pretty much a maddox rip0ff but its really not, me and maddox are good people. we help people so we can make fun of them. to make this a complete rip-off...

To honor myself for this act of supreme benevolence, I will hereby not read nor reply to any email I receive until November 1st, 2005 unless it includes the phrase "To his majesty, the honorable Ralph Dagza" in the subject line.  I'm serious.  If you want your email read, you must address me as "his majesty, the honorable Ralph Dagza" until November 1st.

i wonder how much God donates to United Way?

and i know im going to hell so STFU, just send your hatemail. We enjoy reading it!

-
Ralph Dagza
The 2nd Most Generous Man on Earth

Comments

[DanK]

Yeah, I think Maddox is going to sue you for that one. then again you got away with that George Carlin rip-off on the old site and I was the only one to notice. Damn kids these days with their music.