Ten things I hate.

Here are ten things that me, Dan Keagins, hates.  Not just a regular hate either, these are deep seeded hates which I have had for a long time and have actual reasons for.  So without further procrastination I bring you(Drum Roll!!)

TEN THINGS DAN KEAGINS HATES!

1. People who have a line beard with a crew cut.  Seriously guys, what's the deal, it's not even real facial hair, and it is the hardest to groom to!  Your facial hair should not be as long as the hair on your scalp, if anything it should be longer, or shorter, just not the same god damn length all around!
2. Dentists.  You are the failures of Medical School, congratulations you lame ass excuse for a doctor.  I have never once called my dentist a doctor.  Think about it, when you go to any doctor, whether it be a family practitioner, a gynecologist, or a proptologist, you always say your going to the doctor, but when you have to go see a dentist you will say that your going to see the dentist.
3. Wiggers.  Your not quite white and definitely not black, but I can assure you that you are one thing, an asshole.
4. Fritos.  They never taste good to me, yet when anyone asks me "Hey Dan, want some Fritos?"  I always respond "Sure!" and then that's when I remember why i don't eat Fritos.
5. Children with diseases.  I am sick and tired of sick kids asking me for money, go get a job you lazy dieing bastards.  I have been working since I was thirteen and these terminally ill kids can't pick up a Sunday shift at McDonald's?  Get out of the wheel chairs, off the crutches and make me my god damn Chicken Nuggets!
6. Car Dealership's radio commercials.  Seriously people, is there a fucking law that says that all of these commercials have to be loud as fuck and also annoying as fornication too?  I really don't understand why an atomic bomb explosion would need to be in a car commercial.  Are the cars that good?  Are they "da bomb," is that why?  Are they trying to insinuate that if we don't buy a car then the terrorists will win?  I don't know, but I do know one thing, I hate male nipples.
7. Perky people.  I am miserable and you should be too, understand?  So stop being happy and start being miserable.  If you need help then just call me and I will assist you with a lead pipe, a plunger, a tire iron, duct tape, and a gerbil.  With those tools I can make anyone miserable. Especially Tony Danza...  Anyway, quit being so god damned happy and lay off the god damn uppers you pill pooping peppy sons of bitches.
8. Emo Kids.  OK now I know I just told everyone to be miserable, but these kids take the term miserable to new heights...or depths, which ever one makes more sense.  I don't understand people who take pleasure in being depressed and unhappy.  Now don't confuse pleasure with happiness, they are two completely different things.  For example:  you can be crying over your dog dieing and getting a blow job at the same time.  See?  Both unhappiness and pleasure coexist, you are sad yet you are still receiving pleasure.  These kids really just need to get laid, by either sex, because lets face it kids, these people could easily "swing" in either direction.  Wait..that wasn't explicit enough...it needs to be better...OK, here we go, these kids could easily fag out on each other.  There, that's more appropriate.
9. Arby's.  I have never had an enjoyable meal from Arby's.  Never.  I have even had decent meals at a Denny's and Waffle House, but I have yet to enjoy anything from Arby's.  I'm sure all the pro-Arby's people are going to send me hatemail now, so as a preemptive strike I am going to flame all Arby's advocates.  Fuck you, Arby's sucks and I will own everything you hold dear and I will eventually destroy you and a gold fish.
10. Bass pro shop hats.  For the love of god do these hats fit anyone?  It seems anytime I see some one with one of these hats on they are just too tight.  This pisses me off.  What's the point of wearing a hat that doesn't fit?  It doesn't even look comfortable.  If I had a gun that just set bass pro shop hats on fire, then I would aim it at every hat I could find, and if the hat happened to be on a person, then I hope they are away from water.  Burn motha fucka, burn.

So, those are ten things that I hate, I hope this gave you an insight into just how much of a bitter person I am.  I hope at least seven people die due to the publishing of this article, fuck you America, and good night.

-DanK 

[Color by:  Technicolor]

Comments

[Little Dan]

Yeeahhh man fuck yah

[abby]

im an emo kid and i looooove blowjobs especial while crying! :)

[jew boy]

hey dan add this

11. i hate jayson caissie