Originally posted on Ralph Dagza's Myspace Blog
An epidemic
is sweeping the worlds of snobs and wannabes alike. It continues to
stand up against the forces of gravity and reason. Yes, ladies and
gentlemen, I am talking about the Popped Collar bitches!
Surely you've
noticed this phenomenon. The first time you saw it, you may have been
confused as to why an 18-year-old looked like he or she had gotten
dressed in the dark. But after taking a closer look, you realized this
collar was not a simple wardrobe malfunction, but a deliberate attempt
to undermine the craftsmanship of all the small children who worked to
perfectly crease that collar.
Many have tried to understand
the thought process behind this ridiculous trend, but few concrete
answers have been uncovered. Maybe the poppers just forgot. Maybe
they're blocking their necks from the sun, wind and rain. Maybe they're
cold. Maybe they're hiding hickeys. Maybe they just want their
classmates to think they are "cool."
Don't get me wrong. Some
of the coolest people in entertainment history flipped up their
collars. People like Michael Jackson in the "Bad" era, Ferris Bueller,
Elvis, the Fonz and James Dean. These individuals, however, popped
their collars because they were either already regarded as extremely
cool or would stand up and fight as soon as danger reared its head. A
majority of today's pansy ProPOPonents would cry like toddlers in the
face of danger.
An upright collar isn't necessarily a sign of
wealth or status. Some proud poppers would be ashamed to be associated
with some of the famous faces that have sported this trend. Dracula,
for one, is a prime example. Star Trek characters, the Bride of
Frankenstein, even dogs that have had surgery all get a chance to flip
their collars. Not exactly a roster of the Hamptons' finest.
Many students across the country have united in order to help stop this
horrible epidemic. They have formed a club called the Anti-Popped
Collar Club (APCC) with chapters at many High Schools and colleges nationwide. I believe
this article is best summed up by the APCC's universal motto:
"The Popped Must Be Stopped!"
I don't wear my collar up unless I'm being goofy or something. Don't pop your collar unless, you are Dan Keagins.
Its ok to girls to pop their collar just to hide their necks as long as they show more legs!
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